The one thing you need to do to break porn habits forever
Monday, July 27, 2015 | Written by John Doyel
I wish it were that simple. One thing? If it were that simple then it would be simple, but you and I both know that is not the case. Certainly gouging out your eyes and cutting off your hands as Jesus mentions in Matthew 5 is an option, but not a good one…he is using metaphor in that passage, so please don’t take me literally.
Breaking porn habits is an extremely difficult task, as you well know. However, the freedom you desire will not be the result of a procedure, but found in a process.
Going into surgery is having a procedure. They go in and remove the tumor or appendix or tonsil…sew you up and send you on your way. Some things are fixed by a procedure. When I was four my appendix ruptured and I was rushed to the hospital where they cut me open, did what was needed, and I have had absolutely no problem with that anymore.
Two years ago I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. No procedure exists to end that. However, the process of eating the right foods and getting enough exercise is keeping it under control. I need to follow this daily process and all is good.
Recovery is not a procedure but a process.
Now, if I were to boil it down into one thing we need to do to begin the process of not using porn again, apart from the need to keep being filled with the Spirit and walking in the Spirit, it would be to…
Break the isolation.
I know you keep telling yourself that if you really wanted to you could stop, but you haven’t. There are moments of best intentions but when the loneliness sets in or your anger triggers are pulled, back you go with the promise that you will do better next time.
The reality is you are in a battle way over your head. You are aligned against …
- the spiritual forces of darkness (see Ephesians 6)
- a chemical addiction in your brain to the drugs porn release
- deeper emotional issues and wounds that drive your behavior
- relational stresses with your spouse or friends of work
Admitting you have a problem and creating an accountability team around you is where you need to start.
Luke Gilkerson’s book Coming Clean is a tremendous resource for you. So my best recommendation for you—that I do daily myself even after 9+ years of recovery—is to find two people you can trust and be honest with them. Tell them what you are struggling with. Ask them if they will be available to you for daily contact for at least 90 days. Then you initiate the contact with them via phone, face to face or e-mails/texts to honestly tell them how your day has gone.