Rich and Christine had been married for fourteen years when she first discovered him viewing Internet pornography. She was shocked and hurt by this. She felt deeply betrayed by him. At first he tried to dismiss it as random pop-ups on his computer. She tried to believe him, but was still very suspicious. By the third time she caught him, Christine knew that they weren’t random pop-ups. Rich was intentionally viewing porn.
Instead of owning up to it, apologizing and ending his pornography use, Rich dismissed Christine’s objections and tried to justify his actions by claiming, “It’s a guy thing. All guys do it occasionally. What’s the big deal?” Christine was shocked. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing! Instead of reacting in anger, she decided to seek professional help to deal with this issue. So she spoke to a therapist who specializes in sexual addiction.
The therapist gave Christine advice on how to address the issue. She became educated on the dangers of pornography, how to protect her family, and how deal with her husband on this issue so that he would become her ally, not her enemy. Christine made it clear to Rich that she was not going to have any pornography in their house. If he wasn’t going to work with her on this she was prepared to give him and ultimatum: it was either her or the porn.
He couldn’t have both. By the tone of her voice, Rich knew she was serious about this.
Education is Key
To help Rich understand why Christine was so against pornography, she recommended they educate themselves about the dangers of pornography. Through books, videos, and websites they became more aware of just how damaging pornography can be. Some of the resources they used included:
- Integrity Restored: Helping Catholic Families Win the Battle Against Pornography by Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D.
- Delivered: True Stories of Men and Women who Turned from Porn to Purity by Matt Fradd
- Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn-proofing Today’s Young Kids by Kristen A. Jenson, M.A. and Gail A. Poyner, Ph.D.
- @Sophie Takes A #Selfie: Rules and Etiquette for Taking Good Care Before You Share by J. J. Cannon.